Saturday, July 2, 2011

Job hunting is great! Really, really great!

Job hunting is similar to a dog chasing his/her tail. You keep running around in a circle trying to get the job and just when you get it, you wonder why you did that. I am not even going to look at the job hunt right now, where a person makes hundreds of resumes, fills out numerous applications and is generally ignored by the companies they are looking at (HR departments will not even talk to you anymore if you call them. The don't call us rule is very important to them). Let us move on to the all important job interview. Today the job interview is much like being interrogated by the police.

They put you in a small room with a thin table and two chairs. The interviewer sits across from you and opens a folder, a folder with your name on it. Then the interrogation (or, as they call it, the interview) begins.

The bad part is when the interviewer leans back in his chair and lights up a cigarette. Sure you could mention that they should not be smoking but then the interviewer says "Oh, so you are one of those people.". Then you have to let them smoke since you don't want to be one of those people since they are the ones who never get hired. Or, if they do get hired, they are given the cubicle next to the bathrooms.

Some of the interview questions are really traps. Like the one they lead off with. "Tell me about yourself.". Sure, they say that but they really don't want to know about you. Cause when you do start to tell them about yourself (I mean the whole honest truth, not the clean, sanitized version of what they want you to be) the folder gets closed and the interviewer starts banging on the door, pleading for someone to let them out. I cannot tell you how many times that has happened to me.

Another question they ask is why do you want this job. This is another example where the truth will do you absolutely no good. Telling them you need a paycheck does not impress the interviewer. Even if you mask your answer in humor ("Well, my rents not going to pay itself" or "Cause no one else would hire me") does you no good. All they want to hear is that this is a fantastic company and you have been dreaming of working for them since you were three years old.

Another question they ask is "So what are your weak points?". I answer by saying none. I am perfect the way I am and this company would be darn lucky to have me. So far no one has believed me when I say this. I don't know why.

Comments are welcome.

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