Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Bad restaurants

People are preoccupied with with restaurants. They are always saying "Let's go out to eat." which of course means shouting into a drive by (yes, I mean drive by since you are basically throwing words and money at someone you don't know) speaker. Going to a fast food restaurant prevents people from interacting with wait staff and ambiance. To me, ambiance is not being surrounded by windows and watching people go through the drive through.

One thing to remember is that when you sit down at a restaurant you are putting themselves at their mercy and they many not have any. They control the air conditioning or heat, the lights, the water, the music, the speed of the service and, most importantly, the food. They even close the kitchen off in a special room behind closed doors so you cannot actually see what goes on in the kitchen. You are accepting at blind faith that they are doing the right thing back there. Of course, there are some signs whether you are in a good or bad restaurant.

Bad restaurants are usually pretty obvious:

The staff absolutely refuses to eat there.

You can see the cook coughing over the stove.

The staff picks food off the floor and puts it back on the plate. They believe in the 5 second rule.

Health inspectors are afraid to go in there.

Rats and bugs go there to die.

There are fly strips hanging down from the ceiling all over the place and they are all full.

The company mascot is air borne bacteria.

Raisins in the raisin bread move.

Complimentary bread is listed on the bill.

The restaurant has an "order it before it goes past the expiration date" special. Or the worse one "order it now since it is past the expiration date" special.

Cosmetic items normally found in purses can be found it the soup and salad. The restaurant calls it a gift with purchase.

The restaurant has pictures on the wall of all the people who survived eating there and there are only 3 pictures.

The view from the upper level overlooks the dump next door.

Their claim to fame is that a chef lost his hand cooking for you.

The staff walks around in a daze complaining they have the munchies and start eating off your plate while it is in front of you.

The waiter/waitress complains how tired their "dogs" are and place their feet up on your table to let them air out.

comments always welcome.

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