Saturday, July 23, 2011


I believe in evolution. I believe that women have evolved into people that question things and I believe that men have evolved into people that fear these questions:

Do I look fat in this?
Do you think she is pretty?
What do you think of my new hair style?
Would you go out with her?
Do you notice anything different about me?
Can you believe she wore that?
Can you believe she is wearing the same thing I am?

Any man will tell you this is a minefield where there is no right answer. Wars have been fought over these questions. The best a man can hope for is not the right answer but the one that will get him in the least trouble. Every man in the world would buy a device that gave him a way to answer the above questions. NO MATTER THE COST!

These questions bedevil men and I think there was a council of women who developed the questions just for the purpose of confusing men. Men did not give women the proper respect women wanted so women decided to take get respect by using fear and intimidation. See, women are smarter than men. Men never get together and discuss how to do this.

Women have two other tools in their arsenal; tears and pregnancy. Guys know it is all over when a woman breaks out the tears, real or faked. Men cannot do this. If a man tried crying the woman would tell him to "suck it up" or "man up:. I wonder if women tell other women to "women up" and if they do, what it means.

Pregnancy is something no man (I don't care what they say to the contrary) wants to go through so women have all the power here. To be quite honest, no man even wants to see a woman giving birth. And to all the men who are gynecologists, there is something wrong with you. Do these guys want another man doing exams on their wives? I think not but husbands/boyfriends will not say anything. They are too afraid to say "I forbid you from seeing a male gynecologist!".I don't know why men won't say this since forbidding a woman from doing something is always a good idea. I also wonder about the relationships male gynecologists have. If you play in the sand all day for work, you do not want to go home and play in the sand.

Having a gynecologist for a husband or boyfriend must be hard for a woman. She is probably always thinking "Is he judging me? Has he seen prettier ones at work?".

I have not figured out why some people want to tape the birth of a child. Taping the child after they are born makes sense to me but not the actual birth.

Seriously, that is not a video you can pass around or show to your friends. Are you planning to show it off during a dinner party? "Hey guys, while you are eating the crab cakes and pate, I have a video to show you.". That will be the last time people come to your house for anything.

Do you plan to hold onto the video for 15 years and then one day, when your child is misbehaving, you break it out and make the kid watch it. "You see what you put your mother through? Now go to your room!".

How did people handle the first pregnancy? There was no manual, no one to tell people what to do. People just look at this woman getting bigger and bigger until someone finally says "You sure have put on a lot of weight" which (of course)  caused the first murder.

Comments always welcome.

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