Monday, April 29, 2013

2013 birthday

I want to say this year's birthday was a raucous event filled with lots of adventure. I want to but I am not going to lie to you. It was spent working and, much like previous years, spent alone as I worked. My day was so exciting that I think I spent a little time crying (don't worry, they are tears of joy. Really).

Birthdays are a time to look back over the past year and sigh. Sigh heavily.

The problem (well, not really a problem) is that no one even knows it is my birthday. Well, they do on Facebook and several people wished me a happy birthday while many people ignored it. I appreciate the ones who said something but still FB failed me. Isn't this social media set up so people wish you well on this, the one special day of the year? Facebook clearly posts special events on the side of the screen (at least it does on mine). If this isn't the purpose than FB means nothing to me. NOTHING!

Honestly, the day means very little to me (and yes, I understand that I am dedicating a blog to it). I have not celebrated since the 1990s. I have not had a birthday cake in about 20 years. People have no interest in celebrating with me (which may be due in part to their not knowing it is my birthday). If ignorance of the law is no excuse than ignorance of my birthday is no excuse

The hardest part to deal with is that my cats don't care. I tell them it is my birthday and they just go back to sleep. That really stings. It is like a dagger in my heart.

I had to go and buy myself a birthday gift. I do not know if that counts as sad, having to buy yourself a gift since no one else will. Of course, I am hard to shop for since my wardrobe is so varied (it isn't), I don't like movies (I love them) and I never go to bookstores (untrue).

I would mention those who wished me well here but isn't knowing me punishment enough? Do I really need to identify them here and make them the scorn of everybody else in the world? Heck, I even feel bad for them, having to know me and such.

After I thanked these people publicly and declared a pox on everyone else's house a couple of other people said happy birthday. One would think a curse from me would inspire more people to chime in with well wishes. That just tells me what goals I need to set for myself over the upcoming year.

Dementia (the person, not the disorder) suggested I go out by myself since there are some places that offer free meals on your birthday but I don't want to be the one guy sitting by himself at a table, surrounded by the wait staff who is singing "Happy Birthday to you" (well, except for the cake part) since I don't want to hear the song and I do not need a group of people surrounding me expressing some ideal I don't support (That's right, I don't support the singing of that song). If I wanted that I would just go to a compound and apply for membership to that cult. The bad thing is they have Kool-aid and that is no substitute for cake.

(For those too young for that last reference, go look up Kool-aid and cults)

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Another year

I am approaching the end of another year so I get to reflect on what has gone on for the last 365 days.

Not very much.

I know that sounds sad (and is) but not much has changed.

I have limited employment. Actually, one job I have is going to come to an end right after this year ends so that will have an effect on next year. I have been working here on and off for many, many years and now the store is closing so I am done with that. I love it when change is forced upon me.

Still single. Not that this is ever going to change since every woman in the world had a meeting and they all decided to keep me this way. Finally, something all women agree on. I am so pleased that my staying single has united all women.

My father has continued his tirade about how I need to change. Primarily he tells me that I need to dress better. He constantly asks "Who do you think you are, Johnny Cash?" He never seems to appreciate my answer "Johnny Cash wishes he were me." Yes, I know he is dead. Please don't flood my inbox with angry messages.

My cats have become bed hogs. The two of them position themselves on the bed so it becomes hard for me to get in bed. The two of them are amused by my having to contort my body to find a space. I would fight but they have claws and I have skin that really does not want claws inside of it.

Still writing this blog but have tried (unsuccessfully) to gain new fans. Kim Bookless has tried to help but helping me is like trying to catch water with a strainer.

I went to Dragon*Con for the first time and enjoyed it. Saturday is the most crowded day of all the 3-4 day conventions I have been to. Days like that have taught me to thank the person behind me for the full body massage since there is absolutely no space between you and the one right behind you. Moving is slow going but you will eventually get there. Maybe not the same day but you will get there.

I have become more involved in the cosplay community. Not that the community knows who I even am. Well, aside from the oddball (creepy guy?) with the camera taking lots of pictures.

I still have an expressionless face. Brandy Gibson brought this to my attention in February when she told me that she can never tell if I even know who she is (the answer is yes, I know who she is) since my face is devoid of expression. Is it a bad thing to have a blank face?

My sense of humor is the same. You know, sarcastic. I have mentioned that before and it continues on. Maybe this is why people walk away as fast as they can when I approach groups or why Brandon has said "He's starting again! Someone needs to shut him down!" Byron has told me that I don't have do that but I respond with "Sorry, biological imperative. It is written in my DNA."

People still find me shocking. Others start off thinking I am the quiet type but that notion quickly dissolves. After a while, they become used to my antics and explain it to others with "That's just Al" which would be great on my tombstone (when my time comes and it will one day).

Friday, April 12, 2013

No stupid question

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions has obviously worked with the general public. Having worked those kind of jobs for many years allows me to say with authority there are.stupid questions. The only downside to this statement is that I have made these myself.

Like, for instance, if I am wearing a store uniform, weight belt and name tag while I stand atop a very tall ladder and shift boxes around, you don't need to ask if I work there. Not even ironically. Really.

I am going to add to this statement with there are also stupid statements such as "she was asking for it" based on what she was wearing. If this were true than why do I get in so much trouble when I run into a woman wearing a shirt saying "Kiss me. I'm Irish." Following those directions has never done me any good.

Since when did clothing become an excuse? Men wear those tight Speedos and no ever says he was asking for light groping (or heavy, depending on the person and circumstance). If being in the public view is an excuse than why is it bad manners to eat off a stranger's plate at a restaurant? The food is out there in plain sight, just taunting you with sizzling goodness. Go ahead and take a fork to the neighboring table's meal. See how well that goes over. Cause you know the food was just asking for it.

Like the woman who tried to throw a drink in my lap while we were at the movies.

"I'm sorry but didn't you want that thrown on you?"

"In what way could you ever think I wanted a cold liquid on my lap?" I ask this question almost hysterically.

"Well, your lap was there and asked for it." Yeah, that was a stupid statement. Of course, I was dating her so I am not sure who gets the blame here.

First, I don't think my lap has ever asked for anything. Second, it has not gotten anything it has ever asked for if it has been. Needless to say, there was no second date. If my lap is going to ask for something I am quite certain it will not be a cold beverage. Yes, I know what my lap wants.

I suppose cats can get away when they say something was just asking for it. Like when your feet are moving around under a sheet and the cat pounces in just the right way so that their claws go through the sheet right into your feet so that you scream out (Yes, this happened to me. Repeatedly. Apparently, my cats find this amusing. I don't.). The cats can get away with saying your feet were asking for it.

Here are some times when the statement "They are asking for it" is completely appropriate (the "they" in these cases can apply to anyone, male or female):

When it is their birthday and you get them a gift they want.

When you pay for dinner since they don't have any money.

When you compliment them on their effort even if the attempt is not a success.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

PAX Incident

Is shaming women a past-time for men? Does humiliating women make someone more masculine? The answer to both questions should be no but recent events have me thinking it may be yes. I have heard about what happened at PAX. I was not there so I did not witness anything but I have read what Meagan Marie wrote (

I met Meagan Marie at Katsucon 2012 (which is where the pictures below are from) and she came across as a gracious, intelligent woman. In no way did she deserve the treatment (nor did any of the other women mentioned) from the "reporter" or the subsequent creation of a Facebook page about hate pounding her. I have no idea what hate pound even means but I cannot imagine it is good. The creator of this page did not even have the courage to say who he was. It was reported and removed.

San from Princess Monokone

Now, no one is ever going to call me noble. Honestly, people never call me anyhow ("But if I call him I have to talk to him."). I have a very sarcastic edge tinged with a mocking aspect. Yes, I mock people incessantly and yes, it can border on the mean sometimes but it is to make a point. It is not to shame a person or make someone feel less. People need to learn the difference between criticism and cruelty.

Yes, people have different opinions and yes, no one likes everything. That is normal and to be expected. What is not expected is to insult the person because you don't like the costume(from a con perspective). Yes, I know this is done all over the place including fashion magazines where people say nasty things about something a celebrity wore. What amazes me is that most of these people who say these nasty things do so and hide between funny little screen names online so they cannot be identified. They are so cowardly they won't let others known who they are. I never do that. If I say it, I stand up for it. Unfortunately, most people are too scared to do that. They would rather hide behind a machine and judge other people.

The guy at PAX did not do that. He came right out and said it, apparently, before slinking away. Sure, he stood up and made a horrible joke. My personal feeling is that anyone who does this puts themselves up for ridicule. Let them see how it feels to be mocked by others. I can guarantee they will not like it. They like to insult others but cannot take the insults. I would like to see the women fight back when this occurs. I have to believe these comments succeed since people are so shocked and do nothing.

Another good perspective to read was recently posted:

I am a guy and I do look at a lot of women in costumes. I look and admire how the costumes look on the people. Some look good and some do not. I ask for photos and keep my hands to myself. Wearing a costume never means someone wants people to touch them. There are laws that protect what someone wears. Go to a coworker, do that and say her clothes made it obvious she wanted this.. See how fast you end up getting fired. Society has laws that exist everywhere, not just where some people want to pretend they don't.

Here are some good guidelines:

Look, don't drool.
Pose, don't grope.
Praise, don't insult.
Ask, don't assume.

These are simple rules that can still allow cons to be a lot of fun. Do you really want to be seen as a creeper? Apparently people are going to start posting pictures of people who they identify as creepers from cons on websites. Imagine your mother or father finding that picture and reading about what you have been doing at cons. Won't your parents be so proud that you have been labelled a creeper?