Thursday, April 4, 2013

PAX Incident

Is shaming women a past-time for men? Does humiliating women make someone more masculine? The answer to both questions should be no but recent events have me thinking it may be yes. I have heard about what happened at PAX. I was not there so I did not witness anything but I have read what Meagan Marie wrote (

I met Meagan Marie at Katsucon 2012 (which is where the pictures below are from) and she came across as a gracious, intelligent woman. In no way did she deserve the treatment (nor did any of the other women mentioned) from the "reporter" or the subsequent creation of a Facebook page about hate pounding her. I have no idea what hate pound even means but I cannot imagine it is good. The creator of this page did not even have the courage to say who he was. It was reported and removed.

San from Princess Monokone

Now, no one is ever going to call me noble. Honestly, people never call me anyhow ("But if I call him I have to talk to him."). I have a very sarcastic edge tinged with a mocking aspect. Yes, I mock people incessantly and yes, it can border on the mean sometimes but it is to make a point. It is not to shame a person or make someone feel less. People need to learn the difference between criticism and cruelty.

Yes, people have different opinions and yes, no one likes everything. That is normal and to be expected. What is not expected is to insult the person because you don't like the costume(from a con perspective). Yes, I know this is done all over the place including fashion magazines where people say nasty things about something a celebrity wore. What amazes me is that most of these people who say these nasty things do so and hide between funny little screen names online so they cannot be identified. They are so cowardly they won't let others known who they are. I never do that. If I say it, I stand up for it. Unfortunately, most people are too scared to do that. They would rather hide behind a machine and judge other people.

The guy at PAX did not do that. He came right out and said it, apparently, before slinking away. Sure, he stood up and made a horrible joke. My personal feeling is that anyone who does this puts themselves up for ridicule. Let them see how it feels to be mocked by others. I can guarantee they will not like it. They like to insult others but cannot take the insults. I would like to see the women fight back when this occurs. I have to believe these comments succeed since people are so shocked and do nothing.

Another good perspective to read was recently posted:

I am a guy and I do look at a lot of women in costumes. I look and admire how the costumes look on the people. Some look good and some do not. I ask for photos and keep my hands to myself. Wearing a costume never means someone wants people to touch them. There are laws that protect what someone wears. Go to a coworker, do that and say her clothes made it obvious she wanted this.. See how fast you end up getting fired. Society has laws that exist everywhere, not just where some people want to pretend they don't.

Here are some good guidelines:

Look, don't drool.
Pose, don't grope.
Praise, don't insult.
Ask, don't assume.

These are simple rules that can still allow cons to be a lot of fun. Do you really want to be seen as a creeper? Apparently people are going to start posting pictures of people who they identify as creepers from cons on websites. Imagine your mother or father finding that picture and reading about what you have been doing at cons. Won't your parents be so proud that you have been labelled a creeper?

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