Friday, April 12, 2013

No stupid question

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions has obviously worked with the general public. Having worked those kind of jobs for many years allows me to say with authority there are.stupid questions. The only downside to this statement is that I have made these myself.

Like, for instance, if I am wearing a store uniform, weight belt and name tag while I stand atop a very tall ladder and shift boxes around, you don't need to ask if I work there. Not even ironically. Really.

I am going to add to this statement with there are also stupid statements such as "she was asking for it" based on what she was wearing. If this were true than why do I get in so much trouble when I run into a woman wearing a shirt saying "Kiss me. I'm Irish." Following those directions has never done me any good.

Since when did clothing become an excuse? Men wear those tight Speedos and no ever says he was asking for light groping (or heavy, depending on the person and circumstance). If being in the public view is an excuse than why is it bad manners to eat off a stranger's plate at a restaurant? The food is out there in plain sight, just taunting you with sizzling goodness. Go ahead and take a fork to the neighboring table's meal. See how well that goes over. Cause you know the food was just asking for it.

Like the woman who tried to throw a drink in my lap while we were at the movies.

"I'm sorry but didn't you want that thrown on you?"

"In what way could you ever think I wanted a cold liquid on my lap?" I ask this question almost hysterically.

"Well, your lap was there and asked for it." Yeah, that was a stupid statement. Of course, I was dating her so I am not sure who gets the blame here.

First, I don't think my lap has ever asked for anything. Second, it has not gotten anything it has ever asked for if it has been. Needless to say, there was no second date. If my lap is going to ask for something I am quite certain it will not be a cold beverage. Yes, I know what my lap wants.

I suppose cats can get away when they say something was just asking for it. Like when your feet are moving around under a sheet and the cat pounces in just the right way so that their claws go through the sheet right into your feet so that you scream out (Yes, this happened to me. Repeatedly. Apparently, my cats find this amusing. I don't.). The cats can get away with saying your feet were asking for it.

Here are some times when the statement "They are asking for it" is completely appropriate (the "they" in these cases can apply to anyone, male or female):

When it is their birthday and you get them a gift they want.

When you pay for dinner since they don't have any money.

When you compliment them on their effort even if the attempt is not a success.

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