Wednesday, July 13, 2011


My brother and his family have moved to England. He says it is for business, that his company is transferring him over there. I say he is being deported (My family always expected me to be the one who gets deported).

He had to go through all the security checks, get on an 8 hour flight with two young children, arrive there with a 5 hour time difference so it will be past 9 P.M. when he arrives. This must be hard since he does not move for his job much. Having a family means trying to stay in one place instead of continually uprooting them. Uproot, put down roots, when did we become like plants?

Side note: You can always tell when someone is desperate for physical contact when they go through the T.S.A. screening process at airports. That person tips the agent and asks them to go slower, go higher or linger in certain points.

I have never put down roots. Quite the opposite. I seem to have the 3 year rule. Stay somewhere 3 years and then move to a new place. I move before the mob forms and they come after me with pitchforks and torches. Easier to leave on your own rather than being chased by angry villagers. No, I am not running from the law thank you very much. I know some of you were wondering that.

One of the bad things is when people find out I have a 3 year rule and they start to push for me to leave. "Hasn't it been three years yet?" or "Can't we just pretend it has been three years?". It is always heartwarming when people try to get you to go. Of course I cannot blame them since I tell people to "just go" all the time. My actual statement is "Don't go away angry. Just go away." For some reason the people I say this to are not amused by it.

Then there is unpacking. "It has been 2 years. Why haven't you unpacked?" is something I hear a lot. Call me lazy but I feel that if I am just going to put it back in a box less than 3 years later there is no point in taking it out (Of course, not taking it out can save a person a lot of trouble in many different ways). Packing is a good thing though since it allows you to see what you have accumulated without actually knowing or remembering it. "What is this? 'Dirty Dancing' steak knives? Monica Lewinsky-well, that explains where she has been. 17 different Chia Pets? Man, what was I thinking?"

Not having to pack means you get to avoid that one person who always asks "Hey, can I have this?".

Of course, you try giving some of these accumulated things away and then the questions about how you got these things arise. There is always the "Why do you have that?" which is a legitimate question but the one that causes trouble is "Where did you get that?!?".  This question is basically tells you that this particular thing should not be in your possession as the legality of it has now been brought up. After that question I tend to pause and then slowly say "found it" or  "I don't remember.". Hey, if it works in Congress, it should work on when I try to give things away. That is why I do not give my new address to the person who questions the "gift" I am giving. That means they cannot track me down about it later.

Comments always welcome.

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