Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Take a holiday.

This country is obsessed with holidays. Trees get a holiday, the flag gets a holiday and lovers get a holiday. Where is the holiday for those of us who are not in a relationship and do not have children? We need candy too. A little recognition would be nice--"Hey, thanks for not breeding. We really appreciate it.".

You just mention the word holiday and banks, along with the post office, close down. Even in the middle of the week. You go into a bank and utter the word holiday and all of a sudden the tellers are running for the door, the manager is closing up the safe and the guard is locking the doors. Mail carriers drop their bags when the word is mentioned and they shout out for anyone to take what they want from the mail sack.

I am tired of people trying to add new holidays all the time. What do we need another one for? Do we need the stores to have additional sales on items we don't need or want? "Honey, look, they drop the price of the broken picture frames by 2 cents!" "I can't believe it! Buy every one they have!". The sad part is consumerism has gotten out of hand. Plus, with every holiday, government offices close down. Do we need the government to take more time off of work?

It is great that holidays mean another sale. It is not even specific sales anymore. Veterans day sales are for everyone, not just the actual veterans. We need to fix that and show true appreciation to our military by giving 5% off cheese products at the local sale. The sales are not even about the people we are celebrating anymore.

If we are going to have more holidays, make it very specific.  Like a holiday for people who drive tan Chevy Cavaliers with Ross Perot bumper stickers or one for cats whose names are "Killer" of "Muffy". I threw in the last one since I think that name would cause suffering for the cat and they need a break.

And enough with all the parades. Parades block up the streets so I cannot drive down main streets since people want to stand on the curb and wave flags at a car dressed up like a frog passes slowly in front of them. If people want to stand on a frog car in a frog costume and wave at people, that is their business but don't take away my right to drive manically down city streets. I suppose the odd part is people have frog costumes and are just wanting for events like this.

And don't tell me that holidays and parades are as American as apple pie. How is apple pie American? Don't Germans have apple pie? Don't they have it in South America? Why have we declared it American? Shouldn't we say it is worldly as apple pie?

Comments always welcome.

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