Sunday, June 5, 2011

What is this thing called love?

Love is a concept I have never really been able to comprehend. I know this partly arises from the fact that I have never been in love. When someone asks me are you lonely I tell them "I am alone by choice. Women's choice!"

Obviously love is for sale and I do not mean the physical act of love which can be found on some of the finer street corners or in some ranches near the west coast but I mean by those websites which are now offering to help people find their mate. The commercials air on TV and make it sound so easy to find and fall in love.

"After our first date, I knew she was going to be the one I was going to stalk the rest of my life."
"Oh, I love you too."

It sickens me how bland they make love sound. Like it is so simple. I may sound a little irritated and I am. I have tried a dating site since a former roommate gave me a subscription to one. I learned 2 things from doing that.

1-If I want rejection I can get it for free. I don't need to pay for it. I can get rejected where ever I go. Rejection only really hurt one time. I went on a date with a woman and it was a great date. We had a good time and I asked her out again a day or so later. She said she did not want to go out with me again which stung since she had been drinking and gets affectionate when she drinks. Even while affectionate she did not want to go out with me again. Yes, I know, it wasn't really a great date in that case.

2-that a personality profile is required and after completing it, I was told that there is no one out there for me. I find that very comforting. It is good to know that out of all the thousands of people the site says are using the service, there is no one for me.

What dating sites do not tell prospective clients is most women write the same thing. They like dressing up to go out and like to stay at home in jeans. That they love to lounge on the beach and go to a sporting event. They love staying at home to read a book and to meet friends for drinks. And to top it all off they are all hilarious with a great sense of humor, usually sarcastic. Way to cover all the bases ladies.

Another depressing part are the people who try to help. They tell me I know the perfect person for you. I usually hear Druscilla from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or Abbey from "NCIS". I look at them and in a tender voice reply "SHE"S A FICTIONAL CHARACTER!" To which they reply (and no matter how hard I try, I cannot argue this point) "Well, you are too.".

One phrase I actually despise is "The heart wants what the heart wants". That is nothing more than an excuse for bad behavior. It ranks up there with the expression "Follow your bliss". Before you tell someone this, find out what their bliss actually is. You never know-the person you tell this to might want to be a politician or a lawyer.

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