Saturday, June 4, 2011


     I know why people hate me. I am sarcastic, cynical and, as Stephanie so recently stated, mean. I mock people incessantly. I tune people out as I prefer my own thoughts to most of what people are saying. I spend a lot of time in my head which makes people uncomfortable. What is in my head is usually more interesting that what is going on around me. I remember a great deal of things which can make conversations with me unusual to say the least. I read a lot. I watch movies. I listen even when you think I am not. I'm quiet when I need to be. I keep going back to college. The more I know, the better my jokes.

Hostess: Are you coming to the pot luck tonight?
Me: No, I am not feeling that lucky.

Her: What are you bringing to the dinner?
Me: My appetite!

     I don't care that people hate me. Quite the opposite. I actually pursue this attitude towards me since I am entertained by it. I enjoy the results such as Brian always saying "I hate you, Al" after I did or said something at his expense. I also make fun of myself which is something people do not understand. If I can dish it out, I have to be able to take it. I have strong opinions about things and am not afraid to utter them. I am not a proponent of political correctness. Some get offended by my statements, others are amused.

     It is not that I don't like people. I just wish they would put more thought into what they say before uttering it.

     Like the woman who told me that eating Chinese food everyday will give you cancer.

     Or the woman quoted in a newspaper article saying her house is infested with stinkbugs. Why would someone say this to a reporter? Is having a lot of bugs in your house a new symbol of cool? Is there a competition? What would be the prize for coming in first? The only thing I know is that I have no desire to visit this person's house.

     I have spent a great deal of time working in retail which was not the right place for me to be since i am not a people person. That is putting it mildly. I try to stay away from people and their drama. I hate it when people say they don't have any drama. Trust me, everyone has drama and if you think you don't then you are delusional. You have a job, you have drama. You have a family, you have drama. You go out to a restaurant and the waiter accidentally sets your sleeve on fire, you have drama. I get so irritated when people say they don't have drama in their lives. What, are they living in a void where there are no other people? If so, I want to live there. People are drama. We all have it. Some more than others.

     I understand not wanting any drama since each person probably has enough for two. In fact we should start giving other people some of ours. Here, take some of mine. No, don't give me any of yours. You need mine since it will make your life complete and worth living. No, I still do not want any of yours--your life is a complete mess and I don't want any part of it.

     This blog will be full of different observations and opinions. Some of which you agree with, might make you laugh, and realize you hate me. I tend to think in unconventional ways and this will become very clear. I quote Brian earlier and the funny thing is that we are friends now.  So hate me if you want.

     I prefer it.

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