Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Security check.

Soon I'll be going to the airport to catch a flight for a mini vacation. I haven't been on a plane since the TSA became a hot topic. This time I will and I am preparing a list of things that will make this trip more memorable. At least it will for one lucky TSA agent.

Things to do:

1) Start going "Psst. Psst" to a TSA agent. When you have their attention, start pointing at the person next to you. Walk away whistling when that person is dragged off to the special room.

2) Keep your head down and mutter incoherently. No one ever pays attention to that. If someone does approach you, turn away and start growling.

3) When you deposit your money into the tub to get scanned demand a receipt before it goes through.

4) If you decide to do the full body scanner, undress before going through it. Ignore the panicking TSA agent who is now declaring that you do not need to undress to walk through it.

5) If you choose to have the pat down, tell the agent there is a $5 in it for them if they take their time and do it right.

6) Give a TSA agent a covered box and then run away as fast as you can.

7) Have your carry on luggage vibrate when you go through security.

8) When the agents tell you to do something, you tell them to do the same thing but angrily.
"Empty your pockets, please."
"No, you empty your pockets!"

9) When they finish your pat down announce loudly that is now my turn and proceed to run your hands over their body. Tell them "Don't worry, this is free of charge".

10) Pop a balloon near a security counter.

I believe this will make your stay in the airport much more memorable. Especially if they decide to hustle you to the small room in the back.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

My review of "Bunheads"

Amy Sherman-Palladino is at it again. She was the force behind the show "Gilmore Girls" which I thoroughly enjoyed. The writing was sharp, the characters were interesting while flawed and the lead actresses (Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel) could handle the speedy dialogue as well as looking like mother and daughter. They lived in Stars Hollow which was a small town with a quirky cast of characters. Lauren Graham and Scott Patterson had good chemistry and their relationship was one of the foundations of the show.

Now ASP has turned her attention to another small town which is located on the west coast. The town of Paradise has been created and does not even have a movie theater. Michelle (Sutton Foster) moves there after a drunken night and quickie wedding. She quickly runs into her new mother-in-law played by the strong willed Kelly Bishop (who also played Lauren Graham's mother on GG). This is culture shock for Michelle since she was in Las Vegas dancing as a showgirl. Going from a big town to a small one can always cause drama what with the culture shock.

Just like in GG, Mrs. Sherman-Palladino is filling the town with quirky characters such as Truly (Stacey Oristano). I think she may be the Kirk of this series. Several other characters are introduced and they will be fleshed out in later episodes just as it was done in GG.

What I like:

Michelle is likable. She is another tall brunette (like Lauren Graham). This means that ASP tends to have a type she likes. Michelle is flawed in that she is a talented dancer but has no real focus in her life. She knows her mistakes are her own and is very frustrated (like Lorelei was at times). Drinking is a release for her and is how she ends up in Paradise.

Kelly Bishop is back. She did a fantastic job on GG and I think she will here even though the two characters are worlds apart.

The writing is good and characters are quickly fleshed out so none of the major players seems shallow. The dialogue is not as fast paced as with GG. Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel did well with it but to do that again would just mean this show is another version of GG (not that would be a bad thing).

Other people from GG pop in; Rose Abdoo (Gypsy in GG) makes a quick appearance as a new character.

What I did not like:

How the first episode ended. I feel this was too dramatic and cut short potential for some great story lines as Michelle grows as a person. Granted, the ending event will have long running repercussions for the series but I would have liked it to go another way.

The title "Bunheads" apparently is a term referring to ballet dancers. I am not sure if it is derogatory or not but I do wonder if this the title they should have chosen. Remember that the creators of "Cougar Town" regret that name.

I think Truly was a little too much in the first episode. I understand she is who she is but a little less would have made her more accessible and understandable.


Overall I recommend this show. As I stated before, ASP is a good writer who creates interesting characters. I want to see what Michelle does here and how being here will change her life. ASP has experience is writing small towns and making it engaging. I am curious to see where the show goes and that is the best thing a show can do for its audience; make viewers interested in seeing where it goes.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Goodbye Ray Bradbury

The world lost Ray Bradbury yesterday but he left a rich body of work. He had been writing for decades and his work is one that explores the nature of man while taking a look at futures that may not be pretty but are all too real based on the world we live in today. He wrote about books being burned which is something that routinely goes on today. He wrote about the colonization of Mars which is not so unrealistic as it once was. There are many works one could talk about when discussing his writing; Something Wicked this way Comes, "The Illustrated Man", The Martian Chronicles, Fahrenheit 451The Halloween Tree, etc. I could spend many blogs just beginning to cover part of what he had done.

His work had a lot to admire.  "It was a pleasure to burn" is still one of my favorite quotes. This novel, Fahrenheit 451, turned things on a head since firemen were not there to help but to destroy. Bradbury did this a lot. Take something ordinary and change it to extraordinary.

I think his greatest asset was his characters. His storytelling really shone through the people populating his stories especially in works such as From the Dust Returned. Where else could one see people we define as monsters as a tight knit family who love and support each other? Don't we all want environments where we are accepted and appreciated? Bradbury did that. The family was not what we could call conventional but they were still a family.

How can you not admire a character, Charles Halloway,  who defies having his deepest wish granted while all those around him are succumbing? The protagonist saw through the promises and stood firm. One has to wonder how many of us would have the same resolve in Something Wicked this way Comes.

If you have never read "The Veldt"  you need to. It was the first thing of Mr. Bradburys that I read and still haunts me at times.

I never met him but I wish I had. The only contact I had with him came through the mail. I was finishing my senior work at college as I wrote a paper about Poe being the father of modern horror. I sent letters to several authors asking how Poe had influenced their writing. Only one author responded to my inquiry Ray Bradbury. His typed letter described what an influence Poe was and how Mr. Bradbury continued that with his continuation of "House of Usher".

Now I think I need to send out letters to current authors to ask how they were influenced by Ray Bradbury. The answer should be "enormously".

Monday, May 28, 2012

New kind of greeting

I watch a lot of television (more than I probably should be watching but that will be our little secret) and lately I have seen female friends greet each other by calling the other a slut and whore. When did this start? Is this now the new social nicety? I have not seen this done in real life but since I am a social shut-in there is no telling what I might be missing. If people start doing this, how will one know when the word is actually used as an insult. "Should I be mad at this person or are they just being friendly?"

Can you imagine how parents might feel if they overhear conversations where someone calls their daughter a slut? "Oh, I am so happy! Someone finally knows the truth about my girl and is not afraid to say it out loud. Someone sure raised that girl right! I am so proud of my little slut. The money spent on getting her tramp stamp was well worth it." Obviously tramp stamps are a good investment since it will allow people who see it to nod knowingly to each other.

I think guys should be allowed to call other guys little terms of endearments like this. "Yo, man whore, how's it going?". Men could call women by these pet names as well but they run the risk of women bringing out their most powerful weapon: Tears.

Men can't call women sluts anymore than white people can use the n-word. As long as we are going back to behavior that is no longer socially acceptable I am going to bring up the time when men could bop a woman on the head and drag her back to his man cave where he would claim her for his own.

I miss those times.

Going to a local bar, dragging my club behind me. Looking at all the women standing around the water hole. Going up to one and saying "I like you. You pretty!" before knocking her on the head and dragging her home.

Of course, the occasional accident happens. "Dang, Aag, you hit her too hard. Now she no move". Stare at her for a few minutes before declaring "She not that pretty" and move onto the next woman. She would lay there several minutes before cracking one eye open and ask if I had gone home yet. At least we know somethings never change.

Time went by and it became unpopular to hit women (which is still a rule) and take them home. Eventually you could no longer drag a woman home but you were able to buy a woman. Take her dear old dad a sheep and you had yourself a genuine woman to call your own. In some cases the father got the better side of the deal.

Now you cannot even legally buy a woman. Not that most people have sheep or cows to trade for wives anymore. Now we would have to trade technology for a wife.

Suitor: I have an Ipad Touch.
Father: Does it come with an extended warranty?
Suitor: No.
Father: Get off my land.

Even that has come to an end. Now women get to make the choice. First we give them the right to vote and now they have the right to choose who they are going to marry. Maybe that is why the divorce rate is so high. Women have the right to decide they do not want to be married to the same person anymore.

Try telling a woman "Woman, get in that kitchen and make me dinner!" and see what happens. She will be the one swinging the club now. Women don't like demands (Woman, get undressed and get in that bed! Woman, I make the rules in this house!) starting with the word "woman" but apparently they no longer mind being called slut or whore by other female friends. Go figure.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

A not so special day.

So my birthday went past and it was like any other day. I flea bombed my residence (okay, that was not like every other day. I don't want the readers to get the wrong idea. I am not living in a den of fleas.) and went to work that evening. What amazed me is that people grew upset later since I did not mention it was my birthday.

My response to their irritation was "Really, that is what you are mad about and not what I did to your lunch which was delicious by the way!".

I don't talk about it so I can avoid any disappointment later. If I talk about it and no one says anything then my feelings get hurt. So, being pragmatic, I keep my mouth shut.

Unfortunately, Facebook posts your birthday and most people ignored it. Sure I received some messages containing birthday wishes but most did not even notice. This is exactly when I realized FB is just like real life.

I suppose all of the disdain for the day arises from the fact that my parents wanted to save money when I was young so they had me dress up as the clown at my own birthday parties. They would get me in the clown gear and they tell me to go entertain all the guests.

I have to believe this is where my fear of clowns and public speaking came from. I would see my reflection and turn to run away. This always ended with me running into a wall and knocking myself unconscious. This may explain my distrust of walls. Has anyone ever notice that they are everywhere. Anytime you look at a man made structure, you can see the walls. This cannot be a coincidence.

The only thing about clowns that interests me are the pants that can drop when they squeeze a ball. I would love to have a pair of those that I can wear around town, just having them drop when I feel like it. I can just hear the people screaming "You could have worn some underwear!" To which I would smirk and say "No, I couldn't".

Thursday, April 26, 2012

State of my Union 2011-2012

Another year has gone by for me and this year, like every year, has been full of change. Change is one constant in my life and while I would like things to stay the same for a while, I know this is a bad wish. My faux big sister, Kim, tells me that I do things (devilish things) when I get bored and I need things to keep me occupied. So while I would like some constancy in my life I know this may not be the best thing for me.

The year was full of good and bad things with several events being in both categories. One of the big things is that I am employed for which I am grateful. While my current positions are not ideal they are bringing money in. The work is not guaranteed and I want to find a position where the work is steady. Education may not be the best place for assured work right now.

I moved again which should come as no surprise to anyone. Moving is one thing I do on a regular basis and I am growing weary of it but I do not know how to set down roots or to find some place that I want to stay. People are always amazed/confused that I have never found a place that I wanted to stay or could not easily leave behind.

A roommate threatened to kill me and burn down where we live. It was not done in a joking manner. He was completely serious as he yelled this at me. The fact I was not killed does not encourage me to think that it will not happen. I imagine one day he will snap even if it is not with me.

I attended several comic and anime conventions over the past year. This allowed me to create blogs on my experiences, meet many great new people, take many photos of cosplayers and see the work of artists I would not have experienced otherwise. I imagine I will meet many more people over the course of the year if I continue to attend conventions. Being able to afford them can be a issue since I do not live near any that I wish to attend so transportation and hotel accommodations are required.

I have started listening to the Carolyn and Joe Show. This is a podcast by two comic creators I met during the year. They read viewer questions at the end of each show and I have contributed several so Carolyn dubbed it "Al's Corner." http://carolynandjoeshow.wordpress.com/

I spent another year with my cats. Blackberry will be nine years old soon and time has just flown by. It seems like just yesterday I was adopting a little 5 week old ball of fluff. My other cat came into my life when BB was 5 and I realized he needed a friend. I went and adopted another 5 year old so they would be the same age. Fortunately the two accepted each other and there is no battle royale going on.

Some things have stayed the same over the course of the year. I am still unmarried (women exercising their choice), not hanging out with other people for multiple reasons (one being my schedule of job hunting and actually working), reading a good deal (but not as much as in previous years) and researching a great deal of topics.

One of my main goals is to attend the large convention in Atlanta later this year. This depends on several factors such as money (okay, it is really only one factor). I have been hear about this convention for years and I think this is the time for me to go.

I have no idea what to expect over the next 12 months. I hope it is not the same as the last 12. I want to find a career. I want to become better at photography so I can do justice to the people I meet at the conventions. I want to making friends that want to talk to me on a semi-regular basis. Maybe the last one is wanting too much. There are many more wants out there but those are neither here nor there.

All in all I am not pleased with this year. While I have met some interesting people in my travels during the year I also saw some long time friends move on. I wish they were still willing to talk to me but things have changed. I have seen my financial situation worsen due to the limited employment. My roommate situation was mentioned before and it is an uncomfortable living environment. I hope this year is better and sees me gainfully employed by this time next year.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Open letter to Jennifer Love Hewitt

Miss Hewitt,

     I am glad to see that you are starring in a new TV series. I watched the first episode that aired on Lifetime last night. It is fantastic you are back on television again. It gives me something to watch. Of course, being that this is television for women, there was a good deal of time spent showing off muscular men in various states of undress which is not something I wanted to see but nothing is perfect.

     I have watched everything you have done and while I am not going to say that I love you (words like that can really get a person in trouble especially if they have never actually met before) I do enjoying seeing you on the big or small screens.

     I empathize with your recent statement about not being able to find someone as you mentioned in a recent article in "TV Guide". I understand what that feels like. You need to find someone who can accept and appreciate your quirky nature. Perhaps you should stating looking outside of California and look someone who may live a little further away. I would suggest my own state but I do not want to be that forward.

     I say quirky with all due respect. You bought Matt Damon a bed. That is not something most people would do for someone they have not met. You are very open with your life such as discussing how you have bejeweled yourself. You stand up for yourself in the media when people dare to criticize your body (which they should not be doing as no one has a perfect body). You use Vanilla as a perfume. Instead of using it to make food, you dab it on your neck. This might explain why people are always exclaiming "Cookies!" around  you constantly. For all those reasons and many, many more, you have gained my attention and admiration.

     The new series comes from a TV movie you also starred in. I wonder how many changes you will make from the movie to the series. I hope to see the likable character that has become your trademark. You were likable even in the movie "Telling you" with that little trademark sound you made every time you spoke. I just hope that you will not end every episode of "Client List" in tears as you did in "Ghost Whisperer." I say this not to be critical but so that you will not be repeating parts of one series in another.

     I imagine you will never see this letter which may or may not be a good thing. I would like to meet you but that is not likely. I plan to continue watching your luminous presence on the screen. I say luminous as a trait you displayed in "The Audrey Hepburn Story."

A devoted fan,

Al