Wednesday, November 27, 2013

texting pictures

Now I have been hearing a lot about people sending other people pictures of various parts of their bodies.

Apparently men are sending women candid shots of their junk and it is not even just Joe Public that does it but politicians too (and if they do it, it must be okay...).

I don't see the point of this because women (especially women you are not in a relationship with) are going to have one of two reactions. First, they are going to be annoyed or disgusted. Two, they are going to be amused (which, I am guessing, is not the reaction that guys want). Women laughing (and then calling over their friends to see it--Joan, come here. You have to see this itty bitty thing...) is not quite the expected reaction. I would never send anything since people never want anything from me except to leave which gets thunderous applause.

Guys, on the other hand, would love to get candid shots from women. Reactions would be one of joy that some women showed her breasts. I would mention other parts but guys aren't that bright and would spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out what it is a picture of.

"Hey, Vern, I just got a picture text. I think it is a fur coat but am not sure. What do you think it is?"
"It looks like a set of mittens."
"Oh, right, that makes sense. I see it now."
Like I said, guys are stupid.

It would be really bad if you get all excited that some woman sent you a private photo and in your excitement share it with your friends before realizing your mom was the sender (Dad needed a pick me up cause he was having a bad day). At this point, you have seen it. Your friends have seen it. Anyone nearby has seen it. It is too late to put your eyes out cause even that cannot take the memory away.

One time I did get a series of photos of women au natural. I did not know who any of them were or who the senders (all female according to their profiles. I have come to the conclusion that these were shots of themselves) were (this was on AOL and the three senders all had AOL addresses). Eventually I was able to ask one of them why I was sent the pictures. Her response was to ask "Wait, aren't you a lesbian?"

"Uhm, no, but thank you for the pictures." I never heard from her ever again.

Anyway, guys would never complain (unless the above scenario happened and how would you actually start that conversation with your mother) about getting candid shots. Would they share it with their friends? ABSOLUTELY! The words wowzers and yeehaw would be used repeatedly. And there would be lots of giggling.

In fact, they might text back and ask for some more (which is the opposite of how most women would react unless they text back and ask for some more cause it was the best laugh they have had in some time).

No comments:

Post a Comment