Resolutions

2013 is upon us and people are making all kinds of resolutions. Not me. I am perfect just the way I am. How can you improve on this?

Right now my former employers (if they read this) and standing up in indignation over that statement. They tell me that I come across very quiet when I get hired but that doesn’t last long.

Things I want to do in 2013.

1)      Get in touch with my inner child. No, I haven’t done so yet no matter what anyone else says.  I’m willing to do this since I need a break. It is so exhausting to be me. You have no idea.

2)      Going a whole year without someone asking “What is wrong with you?” or “Why would you do that?” (This one did not even last 24 hours).

3)      I resolve that I will find a woman who will make an honest man out of me. Shut up. It could happen.

4)      This year will be the one where Jennifer Love Hewitt realizes she loves me. Yes, I know she has no idea who I am. If she cannot do it than Lucy Liu, Jaime King, Alex Kingston, Stacey Oristano, Hudson Leick, etc. will do.

5)      I resolve to get my cats to say something nice about me. Yes, I know number 4 is more likely than this one.

6)      Find a place where Angelina Jolie striking a pose at an awards show is not hard news.

7)      Find a place where the politicians are more interested in helping their country rather than themselves (which may be less likely than number 5).

8)      Start my own cult—I MEAN COMMUNE. Who said cult? Not me…

9)      Maintain my record of never drinking Starbucks coffee. Am I one of the last? Am I a dying breed? The pressure makes me want to drink…but not coffee.

10)   Keep being the wonderful person that I am and watch as people drop me as a friend on Facebook because that is the easiest way to determine your worth as a person. The more friends you have indicates how good a person you are.  Right.

Okay, that is it for resolutions. I should resolve to stay the sweet, good natured individual I am but that is stretching it too far and no one would ever believe that. Heck, I don’t even believe that and I am writing this thing.

 

All in all, this means another year of me just being me. I will do more outrageous things that will leave mouths hanging open and shocked gasps. I REGRET NOTHING! NOTHING!