Monday, January 14, 2013

Keeping a journal

Someone suggested I keep a journal as a place to keep my thoughts. I suppose they said this hoping that my thoughts stay on a page instead of flying out of my mouth. That's unlikely. I have no problem spreading the wealth of things in my head with the general public.

I say journal since the word diary has certain female connotations and I am not going to start writing "I must, I must, I must increase my bust." If I do than you know something has gone horribly, horribly wrong and no, I am not giving you a license to put me down because of it.

The problem is that I never know what to put in my journal. Right now the pages are blank since I do not know what makes for a good journal.

Should I write about how I am creating a butterfly army? Butterflies are tough and you don't know fear until you have seen a Monarch Butterfly on steroids. Yes, I am juicing up my butterfly soldiers.

Should I write about my dreams of winning the Nobel Prize for blogging?

Should I write about things I question such as whether Milli Vanilli still has fans?

Should I write about my idea that if human women began acting like Black Widow spiders than there would be a lot less problems for women (since most men would be dead)?

Should I write about the random thoughts that go through my head? You cannot spell psychologist without psycho. How do most of these people ever make it through their own analysis (which, as I understand it, they have to go through before starting to practice). Also, why do these doctors call it a practice? I don't want someone who is practicing. I want someone who has done it before and knows what they are doing. Practice means they are preparing to get ready for the real thing. I would hope that I am the real thing. Besides, as messed up as I am, I need a professional. Maybe two or three.

Should I write about the things I tell people that leaves them staring at me with their jaws hanging open? I am not sure if that person is feeling shock, disgust, fear, awe etc. Mainly since they have been struck speechless.

Should I write about how I failed a personality profile since I do not have a personality?

Should I write about my conflicting nature of loving movies but hating most of the dreck that Hollywood puts out every year? Come on, people, how many sequels do we need a year? Spend less money on making the same movies over and over and spend it on new, innovative material.

Should I write about my complicated love life and the troubles I have with dating? I am of the mind that I never pretend to be someone other than I am and this is why I have never gone beyond a second date. That's me, crushing any chance of a second date by my brutal refusal to act like someone other than I am. The point is that I am not the guy women want to be involved with long term. It is a shame, really since I have so very little to offer.

Any suggestions on what goes in to making a good journal will be read, considered and summarily rejected (but thank you for trying).

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