Monday, December 3, 2012

The Secret to Women

The Secret to Women

                I have discovered the secret to women and I am going to share it with you. I know this is one that has plagued men for generations and I am going to reveal it here. I am going to expose it for the low, low price of $19.95 and I take all major credit cards, as well as some minor ones. If you do not want to know, if you prefer that it stay a secret since you do not want this life-altering information then stop reading and go back to your ordinary life where you are mystified by women. Go on, scram.





                Still there?

                Okay, here it is:

                Women are people. That is the big secret. Shocking I know.

                Some women are good, some are not.

                Some are kind, some are not.

                Some are happy, some are not.

                Some donate time to charities, some do not.

                Some are in the WNBA, some are not.

                Some have chosen to get married, some have not.

                Some think I am crazy—okay, they all do that.


                The point is that women are just like men. They have hopes and hates, dreams and desires. Women want to be successful, accepted, loved, have good relationships, be understood and acknowledged. All the same things men want. This makes me wonder why there are so many derogatory names for women and so few for men. Men and women both do many idiotic things but women have labels attached to them when they do it. Men are just laughed at but no label is attached to the action. Is there a male equivalent to tramp or whore? Also, if a man doesn’t get married it is okay, but if a woman makes that choice people think something is wrong with her.

                One problem I have noticed is that it is not always men doing the degrading. Woman can do just as much to hurt their own gender. Some women choose to judge other women based on fashion and beauty rather than positive qualities such as generosity and intelligence. “Girl, you look so pretty today,”is what might get said instead of “You did okay on that presentation but I know you’ll do better next time.”

                 Yes, I know women differ from men in a biological sense. Women can have babies and men cannot. That is one thing I am confused about. One would think that the gender responsible from keeping the species going would be held in higher regard and not treated as less than.

                Yes, I know there are other biological differences such as women having breasts (well, some men do but they are not supposed to as far as I know) and women handling certain situations differently. This does not mean women are better than men or will make better leaders than men. Well, women won’t refer to rape as legitimate and there won’t be as many female politicians sending pictures of their anatomy to interns. Hmmm, maybe they are better leaders.



The secret to women may change at any time and this secret does not guarantee accuracy to the nature of women. The writer bears no responsibility for any action taken by a woman upon a person who claims to know the secret of women. Men may use this statement at their own risk and the writer bears no liability for injuries sustained.

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