Saturday, July 28, 2012

Things I can live without

People say a lot of things. People say a lot of things everyday. The downside is having to hear some of the things people say everyday. There are quite a few I can live without ever hearing again. Below is a brief list that drives me to distraction. I have yet to figure out why people say these things everyday.

1) It is the best thing ever! You have to read this book or watch this movie. 1st, I do not have to do anything of this sort. Telling me I have to do something is not the best way to start any sentence. 2nd, really? The best ever? I have heard this statement repeatedly and hate it since, invariably, the thing the person is promoting is never the best thing ever. Usually it is not even very good. That is not to say there is not good material out there. There is even great material out there but I have yet to see the best thing ever. How would I even know when something is the best thing EVER? How would you?

2) Political ads (which should be enough of a statement by itself) which do not state what the candidate actually believes in. The ad tells us what their opponent did/did not do. I want to hear what  you stand for or believe in. Remember in school when they told you to let Johnny worry about Johnny. Apply that rule here. Run a campaign about yourself. I will still ignore it but I will respect you more for it.

3) People who sniff something and then try to get me to smell it. I saw when your head snapped back since it smelled terrible and heard  you say how bad it smelled so there is really no need for you to thrust that item at me with the statement that I need to smell it. I don't. I really don't,

4) The phrase "hot enough for ya?". Do you see me sweating from the heat? Let that be your sign that yes, it is indeed hot enough for me. Oh, no, sweating is no indication that it is hot enough. This is just like asking if blaring music is too loud. If you ask that question and someone responds "What?" because they cannot hear you over the music than it is too loud.

5) Commercials that ask "Don't you deserve the best?" or something else along those lines. You don't know me. I might like mediocrity. Also, millions of people could be hearing this ad. Do they all deserve the best?

6) Being told there is someone out there for everyone. That is such a myth and yet people tend to keep saying it. Like this is any sort of comfort. How do you know someone is out there for me? If you do know that, where are they? If you are going to start that sentence by telling me there is someone out there for me have the decency to tell me where. Suppose they died a long time ago. What good does that do me? Oh, sure there is a perfect person for you but they died 300 years ago. Well, thank goodness I know that now since it means I can stop looking.That ends my pesky problem of hoping someone will accept me for who I am.

7) The question "Do you think I'm right". If someone asks this they do not want to hear the answer no. This is a question that is only looking for validation and nothing else. Try saying this the next time you hear the question. "No, you are wrong. In the history of mankind, no one has ever been wronger. They could write a 10 volume set of why you are so wrong. They could teach classes about how wrong you are. I am disgusted with how wrong you are. Why would you even think that you might be right? What has happened in your life that led you so astray that you would ever think the slightest bit of  your opinion has any possibility of being right?"

8) Are you a cat or dog person? Your discriminatory boundaries sicken me! How dare you try to define me by such a narrow category! What happened to lizards, rodents and birds? Are you a bacon or Canadian ham person? Do you like your peanut butter chunky or smooth? This is just another way to create class warfare.

9) "The heart wants what the heart wants" and "Haters gonna hate". My, what lovely excuses for bad behavior. Why not just say "Serial killers gonna serial kill". When did we decide to excuse bad behavior with pithy statements? Go rob banks with the first excuse. Call out at work and use that excuse. Tell your supervisor that you could come into work but your heart doesn't feel like it and the heart wants what the heart wants. Hope your heart wants to be on the unemployment line.

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