So I have not dated anyone in a really long time and that is okay. Better than okay. It is expected and appreciated. But back in the day I did date and there were many reasons why someone should date me. The top 10 are listed below in no particular order.
1) You lost a bet with God. I do not know why you would make a bet with God but hey, I am getting something out of it so okay.
2) You are really mad at the world and want to punish it. I don't think the world really cares that you are mad but okay.
3) You are doing charity work. Sure, this will put you in good with Heaven since, you know, a life of suffering increases the odds of getting into Heaven.
4) You are just that drunk.
5) The court gave you two options, the roadside work program or dating me. The only benefit to me is that it is only one night. Sure the night feels like it lasts for weeks but you don't have to wear that horrible orange. I cannot tell you the number of women who, halfway through the date, called out that they have changed their mind and want to go to the roadside program.
6) You are on new medications and think that I am a side effect of the pills.
7) You are dating me to show your ex that you can do worse.
8) It is a pity date since you feel so bad for me. I have nothing against these. I have been on a few of these. The only downside comes when I ask "Since this was a pity date, are you going to pity sleep with me?" She laughs before giving me a serious look "NO!"
9) You are punishing your parents (or anyone who might be considered a parent).
10) What's that? Did you say maybe someone actually WANTS to date me? Apparently you have lost all touch with reality. Wants to date me? Why not just ask the sun to wink at you?